Dick Hungry Road Whore

Let’s get a couple of things straight.

You remember how hot I was the other night when you seduced Bob? That’s how turned on I get when I just know that you fucked another man right before me. You fucking XXXX or even XXXX does the same thing to me. I love it. I’m the one who wanted you to do that in the first place, right? So please don’t get the idea that I am somehow pussying out just because you are finally becoming the sexual goddess I always knew you could be.

I have said it a thousand times, and I meant it every time: the more men you fuck, the more I love you. It’s true tonight. It will ALWAYS be true.

What was going on when I freaked on you yesterday was a combination of things, as I told you. The promise that I wouldn’t see you much over the next two or three weeks isn’t what freaked me. It was being without enough money to get my kid home, much less buy food to eat or get back and forth to work. It was worrying about having no legal counsel when I go up against XXXX and her smart ass attorney in the next 30 days or so. It was worrying they would find a way to suspend my XXXX drivers license from XXXX. It’s my back taxes, my sucky ass job that won’t even pay the bills (no matter how hard I work), my ruined career path, and on and on and on.

FEAR is what wrecks all men. FEAR is behind all jealousy, FEAR is behind all flight and most fights. I am not prone to giving in to my fear, but it has gotten the better of me in the past couple of years or so. When I get a crack of that fear shining through my tough armor, it often shuts me down. Don’t assume that you know what it is that I’m feeling at that moment. I promise you I will tell you the truth when I come out of hiding. Most of the time what I’m doing is hiding my weak, mewly self that wants so desperately to cling to anyone or anything. Wants to cry victim all night. Wants to throw a big pity party. I HATE that side of myself, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that it’s a part of me. I am just so goddamned ASHAMED of it that I can’t show it to you or anyone really.

Do I get jealous? Of course. We all do. The sexual payoff will ALWAYS trump the jealous pain that I endure in the short term. No matter how long I have to wait for you, I know that the next time we have sex we will be kicking holes in walls and having our own BAM moments. I’m not about to let any man take over my role as the best lover you’ve ever had, believe that. You will have a whole chain of dicks on a leash by the time we’ve finished this year, and you can fuck them ALL at your leisure, baby, but I will still love the SHIT out of you for setting yourself free. I didn’t sign a contract in blood to just wuss out at the first big dick that jumps in your pussy. Don’t insult me like that.

I am going to miss my friend more than anything. You know I need you for therapy, to laugh and cry with, to hold and cuddle and kiss so tenderly. I need you to text throughout the day, to let me run errands for you or clean your house, to bring you Diet Cokes and as much sugary candy as I think you can handle. You know, I need my girlfriend. I know my master is a sex hungry whore, but my girlfriend always takes care of me while the dick hungry road whore is eating up another man somewhere. Is it possible to just clone yourself?

Probably not. It’s okay. I know you’re going to have a great time, and I may never see you again. I just wanted you to know that even if I don’t, I’ve had a hell of a time with you. If you do decide to come waltzing back in my door, I will be thrilled. You are always welcome in my heart, my home, and my life.

I love you, forever.

Yours,

SLAVE